# Stupid Beaver!!!! I'm SERIOUS!!



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

Oh the joys of owning large bodies of water..........two weeks ago we pulled the plug on the wetland structure to drain it dry to allow for some improvements. I thought something looked "off" with the drainage ditch....as in it had too much water in it. My hope was that I had enough head pressure to blow whatever was plugging the ditch. HA! STUPID ROTTEN RODENTS!!! 

So /paul, ken and other expert beaver trainers--you are hearby invited to central Illinois to address my beaver problems. 

To make matters worse I was totally unsuccessful in accquiring explosives!!! What is wrong with this country?! All I wanted was a few sticks of dy-no-mite. Sheesh. 

I have to hand it to the little furry critters, they are remarkable engineers. I did stop counting ducks and ducklings at 50, really pretty neat. 

Still---Stupid beaver has cost two weeks of drying time and now a tract hoe will have to be hauled in to free willy, I mean drain the wetland. 

Good thing I look good in fur.


----------



## RN (Feb 10, 2006)

Ruined the best training pond I have. The multiple re-entries disappeared. I have friends that trap...problem solved!


----------



## WRL (Jan 4, 2003)

So sorry about the stupid beaver. 

But at least you should have some good wood for winter.

WRL


----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

Pals said:


> ..... a tract hoe will have to be hauled in......


 
thought you had one of those in stock??? 
Or is she just a regular hoe?;-)

please forgive me and bless the starving pygmies.....


.


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

Ahhh a silver lining! I love good wood! A good hardwood will burn for hours. Still this beaver is out! There is just not room for the two of us. Especially since I have that slobbering cat.


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

Gonna need a bigger ho..........


----------



## 1st retriever (Sep 2, 2008)

Man if you lived closer...I have access to dynamite. ******* fishing! lol


----------



## TPhillips (Dec 16, 2010)

First day ever trapping I got three beavers in three sets, pretty easy! Just buy a couple traps and get fix of them or they'll be right back. Or im sure there's somebody around that would gladly do it for you.


----------



## paul young (Jan 5, 2003)

cool beverage, comfortable chair, loaded .270 at dusk......


----------



## metalone67 (Apr 3, 2009)

You know its gonna be a good day when beaver and ho are all mentioned in the first thread you read. LOL


----------



## Dave Burton (Mar 22, 2006)

We built a small impoundment last summer. It started as an old beaver pond that the dam has busted and the beavers vacated. We got a loader and small track hoe in there and went to work. We put a 48in pipe in the dam with angle on the front to put boards in for flooding a little at a time so the food would last thru the winter for the ducks. We had a colder than nornal winter and it stayed froze until right after duck season so we never hunted it,which was good because the ducks found it after the thaw and now know where it is for this coming yr. Just before spring the pipe got completly stopped up by beavers flooding it over the dam. We busted it open and the very next day they stopped it up again. This happened 3 or 4 times ina week or two. The beaver hunt was on! After getting rid of about 6 or 7 we were finally able to get it drained. It is now planted with milo,chufa and jap millet. We"ll probably have to have another beaver hunt as soon as we put a board or two in it but maybe they vacated again after we drained it.


----------



## MooseGooser (May 11, 2003)

Quote:

I've heard that if you prepare it correctly beaver actually tastes halfway decent.

:shock::shock:

Dont do a online search on this topic.


Gooser


----------



## Joe Dutro (Nov 20, 2007)

One of the best spots for duck hunting a few years back was a beaver pond (totally made by beavers in a hollow). Someone went in and trapped them out and over the next few years the dam broke down and has since dried up.

I would to get some beaver and put them back into the area. But I don't think you can buy wild beaver can you? Like Moosegooser I did a search-- Dont search for wild beaver!!!!!:shock::shock:

Joe


----------



## Dave Burton (Mar 22, 2006)

Desire Dogs said:


> One of the best spots for duck hunting a few years back was a beaver pond (totally made by beavers in a hollow). Someone went in and trapped them out and over the next few years the dam broke down and has since dried up.
> 
> I would to get some beaver and put them back into the area. But I don't think you can buy wild beaver can you? Like Moosegooser I did a search-- Dont search for wild beaver!!!!!:shock::shock:
> 
> Joe


Thats what happened to the one we made into an impoundment!
We've talked about training two beavers and rent them out to duck hunters to build duck hunting holes. lol


----------



## road kill (Feb 15, 2009)

MooseGooser said:


> Quote:
> 
> I've heard that if you prepare it correctly beaver actually tastes halfway decent.
> 
> ...


Wake up, get a cup of jo, log on to my favorite web site and read about "beavers and wood.":shock:

"What a great country!!!"

*RK*

BTW--If needed, I am willing to *volunteer* my expertise and come down and do an in depth inspection of the beaver situation in the entire area!
That's just the kind of guy I am........


----------



## JusticeDog (Jul 3, 2003)

Pals said:


> Good thing I look good in fur.


Beavers make EXCELLENT winter coats. You can shear them, and they still maintain their warmth. I have a dark, mignight green one..........


----------



## road kill (Feb 15, 2009)

JusticeDog said:


> Beavers make EXCELLENT winter coats. You can shear them, and they still maintain their warmth. I have a dark, mignight green one..........


I have never seen a *GREEN* Beaver*!!*:shock:


*RK*


----------



## Byron Musick (Sep 19, 2008)

Or a shaved Green beaver to boot!! Seems like Beaver's are getting more trendy every day??


----------



## Splash_em (Apr 23, 2009)

Don't worry about the beaver. Get you a 6' alligator and it will get rid of the beaver for you.


----------



## Guest (Jul 30, 2011)

Pals said:


> Oh the joys of owning large bodies of water..........two weeks ago we pulled the plug on the wetland structure to drain it dry to allow for some improvements. I thought something looked "off" with the drainage ditch....as in it had too much water in it. My hope was that I had enough head pressure to blow whatever was plugging the ditch. HA! STUPID ROTTEN RODENTS!!!
> 
> So /paul, ken and other expert beaver trainers--you are hearby invited to central Illinois to address my beaver problems.
> 
> ...


Who are you calling a stupid beaver?



MooseGooser said:


> Quote:
> 
> I've heard that if you prepare it correctly beaver actually tastes halfway decent.
> 
> ...


Well, not all of us are like that. Distant kinfolk. 



Byron Musick said:


> Or a shaved Green beaver to boot!! Seems like Beaver's are getting more trendy every day??


That's cause you don't get out on St. Paddy's Day. You should see the detail that goes into one of those. Captivating for sure.


----------



## Gun_Dog2002 (Apr 22, 2003)

Well I have to admit, never been invited across the country to blow up a beaver! I have eaten beaver, does not taste like chicken. 


My advice for blowing dams is tannerite.
http://www.tannerite.com/

Used it on dams many times

/paul


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

We just irritated the beaver. Dug a hole through her damn dam. Bet it will be plugged up by morning.


----------



## WRL (Jan 4, 2003)

Pals said:


> We just irritated the beaver. Dug a hole through her damn dam. Bet it will be plugged up by morning.


OOOOOOHHHHH>....Does Bart know NOTHING?? You DON"T "IRRITATE THE BEAVER"!!!!!

WRL


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

Just you wait Beaver! It's war! You will look fabulous mounted on my wall.


----------



## MarkyMark (Jun 5, 2010)

Get a local trapper in there that does beaver control work. There easy to trap if you know how.
http://youtu.be/SfSVljyAz_c

Yes I have eaten a pile of wild beaver over the years. When I was running an gunning for beaver my dogs ate piles of it. Today I got smarter and trap mink, there smaller and easy to skin also.


----------



## road kill (Feb 15, 2009)

Pals said:


> Just you wait Beaver! It's war! You will look fabulous mounted on my wall.


Anyone here ever "mount" a beaver???

Just askin'.......


*RK*


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

road kill said:


> Anyone here ever "mount" a beaver???
> 
> Just askin'.......
> 
> ...


 
as opposed to "stuffed"???


----------



## shawninthesticks (Jun 13, 2010)

Its easy to trap beaver you'll need a nice truck, some gold or other nice jewelry, your own house and the more money the better.but be careful they tend to be able to turn the trap on You. Next thing you know your trapped. Its best to practice catch and release with them things cause if you keep one around to long they turn crazy quick!


----------



## Mike W. (Apr 22, 2008)

I have a large wetland unit, and have gone round and round with the local beaver. They are incredible.


----------



## Jacob Hawkes (Jun 24, 2008)

Shawn White said:


> Its easy to trap beaver you'll need a nice truck, some gold or other nice jewelry, your own house and the more money the better.but be careful they tend to be able to turn the trap on You. Next thing you know your trapped.* Its best to practice catch and release with them things cause if you keep one around to long they turn crazy quick!*


Well you're screwed on that one as the moment they have XX on their sex chromosomes, they're completely insane/illogical/moody/quadpolar/money hungry/& always about *me*. All that's from as big a ladies man as there is & Southern Gentleman to boot.


----------



## 1st retriever (Sep 2, 2008)

WRL said:


> OOOOOOHHHHH>....Does Bart know NOTHING?? You DON"T "IRRITATE THE BEAVER"!!!!!
> 
> WRL


 
Ah hahahaha I love this site!


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

Bart is an expert beaver wrangler. Now....since he won't let me take his chainsaw to the beaver dam, I've conned him into letting me hook toe ropes up through the back side and attaching the ropes to my truck.  This is gonna be awesome. Probably won't end well, but it will be fun!!


----------



## firehouselabs (Jan 23, 2008)

junfan68 said:


> *I have a large wetland unit*, and have gone round and round with the local beaver. They are incredible.


Ohhh, do tell! Of course pictures are better!!


----------



## duk4me (Feb 20, 2008)

Stupid Beaver = Dumb Blonde


----------



## ramblinmaxx (Nov 17, 2004)

Pals said:


> Bart is an expert beaver wrangler. Now....since he won't let me take his chainsaw to the beaver dam, I've conned him into letting me hook toe ropes up through the back side and attaching the ropes to my truck.  This is gonna be awesome. Probably won't end well, but it will be fun!!


Please take lots of pictures of this! I gotta see it. When my Grandson says, "Grammy, it'll be awesome!" that means look out!

lesa c


----------



## Eric Johnson (Dec 23, 2004)

This has all the ear-marks of the next great episode of "Hey. Watch this..."

Eric


----------



## firehouselabs (Jan 23, 2008)

Oh really???!!! I'll have you know that my beaver is quite blond and not dumb!!!! I have the pictures to prove it!!! 










Now for those of you who are interested in shaving your beaver, I highly recommend avoiding this. My poor blond beaver was shaved prior to the delivery of my little darling beaver. IT WAS NOT PRETTY!!!


----------



## Kevin Eskam (Mar 2, 2007)

firehouselabs said:


> Oh really???!!! I'll have you know that my beaver is quite blond and not dumb!!!! I have the pictures to prove it!!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Hmmm, Might have to move south if you shave your Beaver. It is warmer down there.....


----------



## WRL (Jan 4, 2003)

Pals said:


> Bart is an expert beaver wrangler. Now....since he won't let me take his chainsaw to the beaver dam, I've conned him into letting me hook toe ropes up through the back side and attaching the ropes to my truck.  This is gonna be awesome. Probably won't end well, but it will be fun!!


I'd contact Bubba, Paul and /Paul.

This is how we get rid of unwanted animals in the Pac NW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Vmnq5dBF7Y

WRL


----------



## jecartag (Feb 25, 2011)

there was a beaver in Philadelphia that attacked a couple people...it actually had rabies...be careful


----------



## Pals (Jul 29, 2008)

jecartag said:


> there was a beaver in Philadelphia that attacked a couple people...it actually had rabies...be careful


I saw a documentary advertised for rabid beavers! Some guy named Joe Francis makes 
em.........
No worries I have a big gun and I know how to use it


----------



## Bubba (Jan 3, 2003)

So does this constitute a beaver tow then?

Hmmmm.............

Not sure that is actually how it is spelled regards

Bubba


----------



## Chris Atkinson (Jan 3, 2003)

I think Taco Belle may fit in here someplace.

In any case....I owed brother /Paul with this link. I hope you all enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg&ob=av2e


----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

alright this just ain't fair!
I wish you all could go back in time to before the great server purge and read the grief I took for such similar whimsical postings.
And then my pubic apology for it all caused me even more abuse then the original post.
To this day complete strangers walk up to me at tests and tell me it was the best thread they ever read, yet I was pummeled by the ladies.
This just ain't fair! 
wa! wa wa wa 
.


----------



## Kim Pyle (May 13, 2011)

Ahhh haaa I am so glad I didn't go out with the girls! Good bottle of wine, How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days on TV and I don't have to worry about driving home...I love this site!


----------



## robertnla (Oct 16, 2008)

Beaver problem with Dam
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp


----------



## JusticeDog (Jul 3, 2003)

firehouselabs said:


> Ohhh, do tell! Of course pictures are better!!


I think it's against the law to post pictures of your unit on the internet........


----------



## Gun_Dog2002 (Apr 22, 2003)

Chris Atkinson said:


> I think Taco Belle may fit in here someplace.
> 
> In any case....I owed brother /Paul with this link. I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYDfwUJzYQg&ob=av2e


Thats my girls Wynona...

/Paul


----------



## Guest (Jul 31, 2011)

Ken Bora said:


> yet I was pummeled by the ladies.
> This just ain't fair!
> wa! wa wa wa
> .


Most men would die to be in your shoes...just sayin. That pummeling can be so soo bad.

Might even have to see a doctor afterward regards.


----------



## Happy Gilmore (Feb 29, 2008)

WRL said:


> So sorry about the stupid beaver.
> 
> But at least you should have some good wood for winter.
> 
> WRL


How dare you call Nancy's beaver stupid. She's gotten all sorts of good beaver advice here and I know she follows the RTF program when it comes to her beaver. My other name is Mudd, they sometimes call me Alalucius Jebadonger Abercombie, that's long for Mudd. I've also been called Harold, Harold of the Rocks.


----------



## WRL (Jan 4, 2003)

Paul "Happy" Gilmore said:


> How dare you call Nancy's beaver stupid. She's gotten all sorts of good beaver advice here and I know she follows the RTF program when it comes to her beaver. My other name is Mudd, they sometimes call me Alalucius Jebadonger Abercombie, that's long for Mudd. I've also been called Harold, Harold of the Rocks.


If Nancy calls her beaver stupid others are gonna call it stupid. That just makes sense Paul. 

Geez, don't you know nothin'???

Stupid beaver,

WRL


----------



## shawninthesticks (Jun 13, 2010)

As I look around ,she gots beaver all over this forum. For a minute a thought I was on my second favorite forum


----------



## WRL (Jan 4, 2003)

Shawn White said:


> As I look around ,she gots beaver all over this forum. For a minute a thought I was on my second favorite forum


Second favorite my azzz.......what aren't the beaver pics changing on the other forum fast enough for ya?

WRL


----------



## shawninthesticks (Jun 13, 2010)

WRL said:


> Second favorite my azzz.......what aren't the beaver pics changing on the other forum fast enough for ya?
> 
> WRL


Dogs are my second favorite animal


----------



## Gun_Dog2002 (Apr 22, 2003)

I'm thinking this guy should have read this thread.....

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/canadian-trapper-survives-brutal-sexual-assault-by-200-pound-beaver/


/Paul


----------



## Kirk Keene (Jul 20, 2009)

Hey Nancy, next time you come down to train, remind me to tell you my "beaver eradication" story. It involved a canoe, johnboat, hand-sprayer filled with diesel fuel, several shotguns and rifles, four guys, and a large amount of adult beverages. Let's just say it could have ended worse...


----------



## Leddyman (Nov 27, 2007)

Boy this place used to be fun....


----------



## bamajeff (May 18, 2015)




----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

Thanksgiving morning bump, so you may giggle with telephone instead of interacting with relations 😁


----------



## Dave Kress (Dec 20, 2004)

So my summer of 2019 beaver story with names and location withheld to protect those innocent souls 

The beavers had a well established den! Trapping had proven to not be effective 

The den had expanded and a hole had developed in the road. 
Bright ideas commenced :
So 10 gallons of diesel fuel was poured in the hole- not enough fuel so 5 gallons of gas was added . Shortly after the fueling was complete an explosion occurred. The hole in the road that was 12” was now expanded to 3’. As the smoke cleared and the cussing stopped ; one could hear squealing in the hole - pistols came out - hundreds of shots in the hole - ammo ran out and their was less noise in the hole 
Suddenly a shout - beaver swimming in the pond / a rifle appeared - shoot the M-F could be heard - the rifle was laid across the hood of the very new truck hub; much hollering to shoot the MF. A shot rang out - the bullet went through the hood and deflected into the battery. The beaver was quickly forgotten but the shouting and hollering got louder. There was a lot of MF’s with stupid being thrown in ; also there was several references to family heritage. 
Fortunately all the ammo had been expended and no more casualties resulted 
A 2 mile walk back to shop for a tractor ( did I mention 100 degree heat ). 
Several days of not speaking to one another and then yards of concrete placed in the hole , a battery was found and the truck has the hole as an accessory 

As in some families there are now things not brought up 
True 2019 summer story with names and location protected as they ve had time to resupply the ammo


----------



## lennie (Jan 15, 2003)

Thanks Ken...miss Nancy Pals!!! funny stuff!


----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

Dave Kress said:


> ... the rifle was laid across the hood of the very new truck hub; much hollering to shoot the MF. A shot rang out - the bullet went through the hood and deflected into the battery. ....


OMG!! You shot your truck?


----------



## remedy17 (Nov 30, 2019)

In Maine Fish & Wildlife will live trap nuance Beaver. Just a thought...


----------



## Leddyman (Nov 27, 2007)

I shot my Jeep once....A long time ago. With a .30-06. Don't like to talk about it.

P.S.: Beaver tastes like roast beef. Seriously the rodent not the you "You-know-what" kind.


----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

Leddyman said:


> I shot my Jeep once....A long time ago. With a .30-06. Don't like to talk about it.
> 
> P.S.: Beaver tastes like roast beef. Seriously the rodent not the you "You-know-what" kind.


Oh tell us, we waited so long 😎


----------



## Eric Johnson (Dec 23, 2004)

Ken - Weren't you the one who had a story about blowing up a beaver dam?


----------



## Kenneth Niles Bora (Jul 1, 2004)

Eric Johnson said:


> Ken - Weren't you the one who had a story about blowing up a beaver dam?


No, that was the pond at the family deer camp. Totally different situation. Not a beaver to be seen for miles and miles.


----------



## Irishwhistler (Sep 8, 2013)

"WARD , don't ye think you were a little rough on the beaver last night"? 

Irishwhistler ☘🇮🇪🇺🇸


----------

