# condescending tone



## quackaholic (Aug 26, 2013)

Does, anyone besides me get tired of some of the condesending tones in replies here? Sometimes you need to read between the lines to get the meaning and other times you probably should shut up.


----------



## adubs (Jan 8, 2015)

Yes, as a new person with little to offer other than questions...I spend most of my time reading rather than typing...there are a lot of condescending remarks from what seems like the same few people. (Same thing on duckhuntingchat). As in everyday life the most negative are usually the loudest...


----------



## jacduck (Aug 17, 2011)

Anonymity offers a chance to be the expert. Something like a speaker more than 200 miles from home is an expert in the field of endeavor. Read between the lines, seperate the wheat from the chaffe, go with what floats your boat.


----------



## BJGatley (Dec 31, 2011)

jacduck said:


> Anonymity offers a chance to be the expert. Something like a speaker more than 200 miles from home is an expert in the field of endeavor. Read between the lines, seperate the wheat from the chaffe, go with what floats your boat.


Wow...Well said.


----------



## fishin444 (Apr 23, 2012)

I also Agree with jackduk. My last few tries at offering help, have been stepped on pretty good by a few. No I haven't trained that FC or AFC champ and realize I have a lot to learn also or I wouldn't visit this site. I have been around hunting dogs all my life and know what works for me. It's getting so I don't want to waste my time replying to a thread. I guess I'll just PM the OP.


----------



## BJGatley (Dec 31, 2011)

fishin444 said:


> I also Agree with jackduk. My last few tries at offering help, have been stepped on pretty good by a few. No I haven't trained that FC or AFC champ and realize I have a lot to learn also or I wouldn't visit this site. I have been around hunting dogs all my life and know what works for me. It's getting so I don't want to waste my time replying to a thread. I guess I'll just PM the OP.


*Nothing ventured, nothing gained*.

The audience is diverse. If you have something to add then by all means do so. Don't worry about what you have said or others have said. Understand that it would be beneficial to those who do not understand. 
In summary and all honestly...Develop a thick skin and understand that not all peoples think the same. Just saying.


----------



## 480/277 (Jun 5, 2014)

The cyber world is a great tool, with a few flaws...
Truth being one of them. Anyone can say anything.

How it is said, w/o Face to face interaction , sometimes
the meaning does not come out the same.

Sometimes anonymity allows people to treat others
in ways they would never do in person.

Sometimes people take it too personal.

it's just the Internet


----------



## BonMallari (Feb 7, 2008)

if you think that the tone is condescending ,its nothing compared to how it used to be, by some people who no longer play here on the RTF...not saying it was ok or even warranted, but on any chat forum there are internet bullies, sheeple, contrarians,and also a few real good guys and gals...

Unfortunately in order to get to the good ones,one has to put up with a few people that spoil it for others..Chris A puts on a good show here and if you can wade through the BS there can be some useful and entertaining info being exchanged


----------



## Don Lietzau (Jan 8, 2011)

The reason I feel everyone should use their name.
Don and crew


----------



## twall (Jun 5, 2006)

I usually just lurk infrequently. As Bon mentioned, RTF is a kinder, gentler place now days. 

As is often true in life, those with the most to offer usually do it with the most class.

Let the snide comments roll like water off a ducks back.

Tom


----------



## Scott Krueger (Jan 25, 2008)

nope...if ya dont have some thick skin ma and dad shouldnt let ya play on the world wide web...

ps....dont take candy from strangers...



Don Lietzau said:


> The reason I feel everyone should use their name.
> Don and crew


what does this provide??..you still wouldnt know me from adam......if everybody used their real name that would cut down on the jibber jabber??? highly doubt it..


----------



## labsforme (Oct 31, 2003)

It may not be for the most part condescending. Unfortunately some with not as much experience post as if they have the final solution. Most of the really knowledgeable dog people no longer post because most of what they posted was ignored or argued against by some less knowledgeable . Some OP just want justification for a lack of training. I agree that we should try to say things in a kinder manner. However the trend is still there and RTF is the sadder for it.

Jeff G


----------



## Ted Shih (Jan 20, 2003)

Don Lietzau said:


> The reason I feel everyone should use their name.
> Don and crew


I agree with you, Don.


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Don Lietzau said:


> The reason I feel everyone should use their name.
> Don and crew


I kinda think this should be mandatory but who am I! JMO


----------



## WWoolley (May 27, 2014)

I completely agree. I don't even want to ask an opinion on here because so many will read way too much into the question and in a very elitist way try to belittle you. I realize there are some really polite and very helpful people on here as well. Just have to weed through the butts to get the good stuff.


----------



## freezeland (Nov 1, 2012)

Mary Lynn Metras said:


> I kinda think this should be mandatory but who am I! JMO


I'm not a lawyer but I think there is a lot of reasons why screen user names legally cannot be forced to be real names. Think about that for a moment. How about battered women wishing to avoid an ex-spouse who might be seeking to do them harm for example. Just google the name and walla......there she is the guy says, I found her.


----------



## HuntinDawg (Jul 2, 2006)

freezeland said:


> I'm not a lawyer but I think there is a lot of reasons why screen user names legally cannot be forced to be real names. Think about that for a moment. How about battered women wishing to avoid an ex-spouse who might be seeking to do them harm for example. Just google the name and walla......there she is the guy says, I found her.


Obviously I choose not to post under my name. I just don't want everything I've ever said coming up on a simple google search. I have other reasons as well, which may be valid or may just make me feel better. I have given my name in posts before and I always give it by PM, but that doesn't cause all of my posts to come up on a simple internet search.

Having said all of that this is Chris' forum and if he chooses to require it, he is well within his rights to do so. The forum belongs to him and nobody forces anyone to post on it. If there is someone on here in fear of being found by an ex, a stalker, or someone is in a witness protection program hiding from the mob then they probably have more pressing things to do than post on a retriever forum.


----------



## freezeland (Nov 1, 2012)

HuntinDawg said:


> Obviously I choose not to post under my name. I just don't want everything I've ever said coming up on a simple google search. I have other reasons as well, which may be valid or may just make me feel better. I have given my name in posts before and I always give it by PM, but that doesn't cause all of my posts to come up on a simple internet search.
> 
> Having said all of that this is Chris' forum and if he chooses to require it, he is well within his rights to do so. The forum belongs to him and nobody forces anyone to post on it. If there is someone on here in fear of being found by an ex, a stalker, or someone is in a witness protection program hiding from the mob then they probably have more pressing things to do than post on a retriever forum.


It was only an example of why someone may choose not to use their real name..............


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

freezeland said:


> I'm not a lawyer but I think there is a lot of reasons why screen user names legally cannot be forced to be real names. Think about that for a moment. How about battered women wishing to avoid an ex-spouse who might be seeking to do them harm for example. Just google the name and walla......there she is the guy says, I found her.


Oh I am sure there are many legal reasons one would think of.. I think it is just better for all to know.JMO


----------



## DL (Jan 13, 2003)

HuntinDawg said:


> Obviously I choose not to post under my name. I just don't want everything I've ever said coming up on a simple google search. I have other reasons as well, which may be valid or may just make me feel better. I have given my name in posts before and I always give it by PM, but that doesn't cause all of my posts to come up on a simple internet search.
> 
> Having said all of that this is Chris' forum and if he chooses to require it, he is well within his rights to do so. The forum belongs to him and nobody forces anyone to post on it. If there is someone on here in fear of being found by an ex, a stalker, or someone is in a witness protection program hiding from the mob then they probably have more pressing things to do than post on a retriever forum.


If someone still wanted to be anonymous, they would sign up with something that sounds like a name (John Doe). It would be hard to police without a birth certificate or some other form of ID.


----------



## freezeland (Nov 1, 2012)

Mary Lynn Metras said:


> Oh I am sure there are many legal reasons one would think of.. I think it is just better for all to know.JMO


As huntindawg pointed out, Chri's forum Chris's rules. We don't have to post here if we dont want to. I get that.


----------



## HuntinDawg (Jul 2, 2006)

freezeland said:


> As huntindawg pointed out, Chri's forum Chris's rules. We don't have to post here if we dont want to. I get that.


And that was my whole point. I disagree with your assessment that he cannot legally require us to use real names to post here, although I am not a lawyer either.


----------



## DoubleHaul (Jul 22, 2008)

HuntinDawg said:


> Obviously I choose not to post under my name. I just don't want everything I've ever said coming up on a simple google search. I have other reasons as well, which may be valid or may just make me feel better. I have given my name in posts before and I always give it by PM, but that doesn't cause all of my posts to come up on a simple internet search.


Pretty much the same. I am sure folks in the private forums that the googlebot and yahoo spider can't see are more open, though.

My name is not a secret, folks who would know me anyway pretty know my real name and since I am not famous or FT royalty I can't see why anyone who didn't know me would care one way or another.


----------



## Ted Shih (Jan 20, 2003)

I prefer that people stand behind their opinions with their names. That's just me.


----------



## DRAKEHAVEN (Jan 14, 2005)

quackaholic said:


> Does, anyone besides me get tired of some of the condesending tones in replies here? Sometimes you need to read between the lines to get the meaning and other times you probably should shut up.


Pretty sure I've made your list, Maybe I am your list. You may wanna follow your own advice about reading between the lines. The best Lemonade come from some pretty sour Lemons.


----------



## DRAKEHAVEN (Jan 14, 2005)

adubs said:


> Yes, as a new person with little to offer other than questions...I spend most of my time reading rather than typing...there are a lot of condescending remarks from what seems like the same few people. (Same thing on duckhuntingchat). As in everyday life the most negative are usually the loudest...[/QUOTE
> 
> 
> Your an hour from me, come train your dog, open invite. Got questions, I got unlimited texting. Let fly or call me after 7 PM
> 715-220-3186


----------



## Don Lietzau (Jan 8, 2011)

Choc24/7 said:


> nope...if ya dont have some thick skin ma and dad shouldnt let ya play on the world wide web...
> 
> ps....dont take candy from strangers...
> 
> ...


What more could I add. You said it all.
Don and Crew


----------



## DRAKEHAVEN (Jan 14, 2005)

jacduck said:


> Anonymity offers a chance to be the expert. Something like a speaker more than 200 miles from home is an expert in the field of endeavor. Read between the lines, seperate the wheat from the chaffe, go with what floats your boat.



There is no being anonymous in the Retriever world. We are all swimming in the same pond. Someone pisses in the pool everyone will know.
As far as my screen name - it's a dead give away.


----------



## Cayuga Dew (Nov 30, 2014)

DRAKEHAVEN said:


> ..... The best Lemonade come from some pretty sour Lemons.


Indeed - But needs lots of sugar to make it good.


----------



## Daren Galloway (Jun 28, 2012)

I would venture a guess that most questions that envoke a condescending response are questions that have be asked again and again and again. There is a sticky thread one the threads page called "Forum Searching - How to Optimize your Search for Topics". I have found it very useful. You can search exact word/s or phrases, or "contains" that gets you a pretty good selection of old threads to choose from. Sometimes your search isn't correct, try some different words that may come up in a discussion about your topic. Sometimes you have to read through a few threads to find it.


----------



## BonMallari (Feb 7, 2008)

the name thing isnt the end all do all....a while back Chris A made a plea form people to change their monikers or show their name as a signature....It helped somewhat, but what we have here is a whole different animal, its called INTERNET DOG TRAINING, its the only place I know of where someone can be a novice one day and ask for help, and fast forward two months later and that same person is giving dog training advice like an old veteran...It is also a lot like people arguing about the Bible or in this case Rex Carr (Old Testament) Lardy TRT (New Testament)..we have many scholars here who can cite both chapter and verse of either doctrine

Everyone here is entitled to their opinions, makes no difference the amount of silver hardware in the trophy room,or the lone ribbon rosette,or choosing not to play the games at all..

The condescending attitude usually appears when someone chooses to question the status quo or when someone, God forbid, dare challenge the current trend or the generally accepted practices..How dare they(gasp), who are they, How do they get off asking a such things,Bless their heart..How many pelts do you have..

Only on the internet can a simple innocent question from an uninformed newbie turn into a donnybrook, only on the internet can a topic as innocent as dog food spark a match to a powder keg, and only on the internet can a topic like the number of entries in a Master stake result in people trying to blame the entry service, the event secretary, or even the pro


----------



## quackaholic (Aug 26, 2013)

BonMalari

"The condescending attitude usually appears when someone chooses to question the status quo or when someone, God forbid, dare challenge the current trend or the generally accepted practices..How dare they(gasp), who are they, How do they get off asking a such things,Bless their heart..How many pelts do you have



Well said.


----------



## roseberry (Jun 22, 2010)

if i have been condescending to anyone i apologize.......except for on the college football thread!;-)


----------



## Criquetpas (Sep 14, 2004)

Ted Shih said:


> I prefer that people stand behind their opinions with their names. That's just me.


Yes totally agree . Also there have been exceptional folks that used to be regular RTF folks, used their own name and were rebuked by the 90 day wonders (for young folks, officers that were made officers right out of ROTC during WW II) the old adage you are a moron in your home town , but, 20 minutes away an expert. As one old RTF used to say "how many pelts on the wall?" and of course everyone is entitled to an "opinion" .


----------



## KwickLabs (Jan 3, 2003)

I should probably know better than this, but given the nature of the thread....I find the use of "How many pelts on the wall?" a rather condescending approach.









I understand the significance of "pecking order". However, it is often more tactful to NOT proclaim to be the biggest "pecker".


----------



## [email protected] (Mar 14, 2008)

Entry express is just a few clicks away. Click on Event History to see any dogs performance record, or do a search on any handler. It's not going to tell you if they've trained the dog themselves, but it's a good way to begin sorting through who you may want to listen to. 
Getting your ears slapped back is no fun, but most of the more experienced people I look to take advice from, can be a little terse. Keeping your mouth shut and your ears open can pay dividends.


----------



## BonMallari (Feb 7, 2008)

KwickLabs said:


> I should probably know better than this, but given the nature of the thread....I find the use of "How many pelts on the wall?" a rather condescending approach.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



So much This ^^^^^^^


----------



## Criquetpas (Sep 14, 2004)

Comon there has to be some fun here it is not the first time "condescending" has been used on RTF and it won't be the last. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, name or not. Like the TV when you see something you don't like change the channels...If you don't want to respond, don't, but, if you do well?


----------



## KwickLabs (Jan 3, 2003)

_"Common there has to be *some fun here* it is not the first time "condescending" has been used on RTF and it won't be the last."_

Earl......that's absolutely on target.


----------



## road kill (Feb 15, 2009)

quackaholic,
Just do the best you can, find out who is trying to help you and don't take it personal from those that aren't.

Take that from the voice of experience.

There are some terrific people who post here that would do anything they could to help you out.
There is almost no training situation you could face that someone here has not already encountered and share experiences with you.

All the best!

BTW--Every person I have met from here has been very pleasant and very nice people!

I hope that doesn't sound condescending!!!!!!!;-)


----------



## Kyle Garris (Oct 27, 2005)

Find a small handful that know what they're doing and develop a relationship with them. I post seldom, PM often.


----------



## Becky Mills (Jun 6, 2004)

To me it isn't condescending to want to know a person's experience level. While I have and do learn from those with a number of different levels and areas of experience, I still like to know their background. If I am asking a health question, I'd just as soon know if the person giving advice is a long-practicing DVM or someone with their first puppy. If I am asking a specific question about All Age stakes in field trials, I think it stands to reason the person who has FC AFCs to their credit might be a bit more qualified to answer than someone who is working on their first Junior Hunter title. 
In my opinion that isn't condescending, it is common sense.


----------



## adubs (Jan 8, 2015)

DRAKEHAVEN said:


> adubs said:
> 
> 
> > Yes, as a new person with little to offer other than questions...I spend most of my time reading rather than typing...there are a lot of condescending remarks from what seems like the same few people. (Same thing on duckhuntingchat). As in everyday life the most negative are usually the loudest...[/QUOTE
> ...


----------



## swampcollielover (Nov 30, 2012)

What one person reads as 'condescending' someone else may see as a someone being to the point. The problem with all 'written' communications is that you lose much of the primary tools we all need for good quality communications that you get only from face to face discussions. So if you are always feeling that people are talking down to you, consider it probably is your perception, and not necessarily a condescending comment. No doubt some folks are a bit abrupt and even rude at times, I find the 'ignor' function works well to eliminate these folks from my posts and what I read. 

It can be fun and informative, as already said, good to have thick skin, but also to understand the disadvantages to this type of communications and more importantly, keep an open mind.


----------



## KwickLabs (Jan 3, 2003)

Becky Mills said, _"I think it stands to reason the person who has FC AFCs to their credit might be a bit more qualified to answer than someone who is working on their first Junior Hunter title."_

Walt said, _"Entry express is just a few clicks away....."_.

The above are tactful, *helpful* approaches. 

This is what the inexperienced need......solid, doable advice.

The phrase cited is *condescending*....especially the part about "pelts". 

definition:
condescending - having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority

It may not be the intent of a poster, but there are two approaches to answering a request for help. One doesn't require growing a thick skin.


----------



## quackaholic (Aug 26, 2013)

Amen Kwik labs


----------



## Doug Main (Mar 26, 2003)

KwickLabs said:


> I should probably know better than this, but given the nature of the thread....I find the use of "How many pelts on the wall?" a rather condescending approach.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Isn't this a little ironic coming from someone that puts a history of their "pelts" in their signature?


----------



## Scott Adams (Jun 25, 2003)

Two things about condescending trainers.
1) Just because they are arrogant, that doesn't mean they are any good.
2) There are plenty on either side of arrogant in all walks of life. Your dignity is a price you shouldn't have to pay for anything. (Especially regarding a hobby).
I have no patience for arrogance, and meanness when it comes to training.
What's so tough about the golden rule?
Don't mis-take emphatic teaching for meanness. Sometimes you are getting your ass kicked, because the kicker thinks you are worth it.


----------



## KwickLabs (Jan 3, 2003)

_"Isn't this a little ironic coming from someone that puts a history of their "pelts" in their signature?"_

That's a useful perception. But, as was mentioned before searching Entry Express would provide the same information. It reveals exactly where I'm coming from. In addition, anyone that reads my posts can see very quickly there are no FC or AFC titles. 

Stating or finding known facts is entirely different than labeling them "pelts"....you did that....not I. While you are at it find me a single new poster that finds that the listing of experience is not appreciated and I will give your "twist on words" a second thought.


----------



## Ted Shih (Jan 20, 2003)

KwickLabs said:


> I should probably know better than this, but given the nature of the thread....I find the use of "How many pelts on the wall?" a rather condescending approach



I suspect that it is all a matter of context. When people have mentioned "pelts" in a thread, I find it is not the use of the term, or even the question "How many pelts do you have?" that is offensive, but rather the words and tone conveyed around the phrase. 

The art of the written word is dying. Few people are able to craft written words with the nuance and subtlety that effective communication demands.


----------



## miketuggle (Aug 21, 2014)

Doug Main said:


> Isn't this a little ironic coming from someone that puts a history of their "pelts" in their signature?


Jim doesn't need defending but I will...

Jim's posts are some of the most helpful here. And, if my two titled girls were not dead, their "titles" (_not pelts_) would be in my signature, too. I thought the post that included the above quote was one of the more clarifying in this thread.

Mike


----------



## T.Bond (Jul 7, 2014)

i have a hard enough time reading all here let alone listining for tones hahalol.. sometimes my ears ring from running a grinder though


----------



## T.Bond (Jul 7, 2014)

Ted Shih said:


> I suspect that it is all a matter of context. When people have mentioned "pelts" in a thread, I find it is not the use of the term, or even the question "How many pelts do you have?" that is offensive, but rather the words and tone conveyed around the phrase.
> 
> The art of the written word is dying. Few people are able to craft written words with the nuance and subtlety that effective communication demands.


the high Co air is good for writing like john devenr rocky mountain high but I seen videos and pretty sure its pot he means.


----------



## T.Bond (Jul 7, 2014)

this is dumb question but I dont get what pelt is and i searched like the folks say to do


----------



## Joe S. (Jan 8, 2003)

Ted Shih said:


> I suspect that it is all a matter of context. When people have mentioned "pelts" in a thread, I find it is not the use of the term, or even the question "How many pelts do you have?" that is offensive, but rather the words and tone conveyed around the phrase.
> 
> The art of the written word is dying. Few people are able to craft written words with the nuance and subtlety that effective communication demands.


Wait...so what are you trying to say, Ted? And isn't it about time you had a new avatar picture?


----------



## nogie1717 (Sep 15, 2014)

I've only been around a few months, but cannot put a price on the value that RTF has been to me and my pup. While there is some talking down, I try to think it is done because the poster didn't try to craft a thoroughly worded response that conveyed everything they were trying to say. Or they were drinking. &#55357;&#56836;

While I am at it, I'd like to offer a huge THANK YOU to the who have taken the time to offer me sound advice. This generosity comes down to the fact that all of us here have a love and passion for our four legged friends.


----------



## Bruce MacPherson (Mar 7, 2005)

T.Bond said:


> this is dumb question but I dont get what pelt is and i searched like the folks say to do


Pelts in this context and on this forum generally means titles put on dogs or ribbons collected in various retriever venues. I think that about covers it.


----------



## kjrice (May 19, 2003)




----------



## Wayne Nutt (Jan 10, 2010)

I miss Howard Niemi.


----------



## mjh345 (Jun 17, 2006)

Wayne Nutt said:


> I miss Howard Niemi.


Howard was a treasure who is greatly missed.
But there is also room and a need for the Felony Foster, Angie Becker, Shane the Swishy, & Quo Chong {SP} trainer types


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Wayne Nutt said:


> I miss Howard Niemi.


Agree. I do to!


----------



## duk4me (Feb 20, 2008)

T.Bond said:


> this is dumb question but I dont get what pelt is and i searched like the folks say to do


Pelt is what happens when someone ask a dumb question.


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

duk4me said:


> Pelt is what happens when someone ask a dumb question.


That might be considered condescending!!!!


----------



## Mark Littlejohn (Jun 16, 2006)

Becky Mills said:


> To me it isn't condescending to want to know a person's experience level. While I have and do learn from those with a number of different levels and areas of experience, I still like to know their background. If I am asking a health question, I'd just as soon know if the person giving advice is a long-practicing DVM or someone with their first puppy. If I am asking a specific question about All Age stakes in field trials, I think it stands to reason the person who has FC AFCs to their credit might be a bit more qualified to answer than someone who is working on their first Junior Hunter title.
> In my opinion that isn't condescending, it is common sense.


^^^Good post^^^

I'm always concerned for the newbie who determines the merits of important advice based on the poster's "Posts" count. 
Large numbers of posts by people who enjoy this forum as "Facebook for Dogs" does not an expert make.
My advice if you can't find where to buy the poster's training DVD bio, or Judging credits on akc.org, or Passes & Wins on EE, or DVM license, etc, is to look at how many months it took them to get those 10,000 posts. The hunting dog folks are on their own if that's your sport (unless there's a sight that quantifies mounts or pelts).


----------



## Sharon Potter (Feb 29, 2004)

Well heck.....there goes my credibility.


----------



## Don Lietzau (Jan 8, 2011)

Mary Lynn Metras said:


> Agree. I do to!


Hum, Was thinking about Howard yesterday. 
Don and Crew


----------



## Gun_Dog2002 (Apr 22, 2003)

I find it ironic that people with no pelts in defining what constitutes condescending are jumping all over this thread as if they experts in condescension. In the world of dog sports, pelts are bought and sold these days. Some of those with the most pelts can't even hold a leash correctly. Some just live vicariously through the expertise of those they associate with. Others spend good hard money to parrot the wisdom and experience told to them by their trainers. One thing is for sure, 80-90% of the experts on here can train a dog to a junior pass and when you get that many successful experts together, well there's gonna be disagreements. 


/Paul


----------



## JS (Oct 27, 2003)

"YOU DUMB-ASS, CROSS-EYED, SOB ... WHAT THE HE!! YOU DOIN' LETTING HIM ROLL OVER THAT POINT LIKE THAT???? WHO THE HE!! YOU THINK YOU ARE ... JOHN WAYNE???"

Now that's condescending. ;-) Sure glad I didn't let it hurt my feelings. I would have missed out on a lot.

JS


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Gun_Dog2002 said:


> I find it ironic that people with no pelts in defining what constitutes condescending are jumping all over this thread as if they experts in condescension. In the world of dog sports, pelts are bought and sold these days. Some of those with the most pelts can't even hold a leash correctly. Some just live vicariously through the expertise of those they associate with. Others spend good hard money to parrot the wisdom and experience told to them by their trainers. One thing is for sure, 80-90% of the experts on here can train a dog to a junior pass and when you get that many successful experts together, well there's gonna be disagreements.
> 
> 
> /Paul


Good statement especially your last line!Be selective in what you read & want to digest is a wise move.


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

JS said:


> "YOU DUMD-ASS, CROSS-EYED, SOB ... WHAT THE HE!! YOU DOIN' LETTING HIM ROLL OVER THAT POINT LIKE THAT???? WHO THE HE!! YOU THINK YOU ARE ... JOHN WAYNE???"
> 
> Now that's condescending. ;-) Sure glad I didn't let it hurt my feelings. I would have missed out on a lot.
> 
> JS


I like your QA2 title congrats. 
I can't stand being yelled at!! I loose my focus!JMO


----------



## Steve Strong (Jan 14, 2013)

New guy here...you want condescending, go through Boot Camp!!


----------



## Renee P. (Dec 5, 2010)

T.Bond said:


> i have a hard enough time reading all here let alone listining for tones hahalol...


Excellent point.



JS said:


> "YOU DUMB-ASS, CROSS-EYED, SOB ... WHAT THE HE!! YOU DOIN' LETTING HIM ROLL OVER THAT POINT LIKE THAT???? WHO THE HE!! YOU THINK YOU ARE ... JOHN WAYNE???"
> 
> Now that's condescending. ;-) Sure glad I didn't let it hurt my feelings. I would have missed out on a lot.
> 
> JS


Exactly.


----------



## Gun_Dog2002 (Apr 22, 2003)

Steve Strong said:


> New guy here...you want condescending, go through Boot Camp!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NP8y63Ms4o

This is how the good old RTF used to be....

/Paul


----------



## Steve Amrein (Jun 11, 2004)

Gun_Dog2002 said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NP8y63Ms4o
> 
> This is how the good old RTF used to be....
> 
> /Paul




Ahhhhhh Jelly donut or the peanut that is the question.......


----------



## Steve Amrein (Jun 11, 2004)

I also wonder if more people are not here anymore because being accused of making condescending remarks or by feeling someone spoke to them in a condescending tone ?


----------



## John Robinson (Apr 14, 2009)

Steve Amrein said:


> I also wonder if more people are not here anymore because being accused of making condescending remarks or by feeling someone spoke to them in a condescending tone ?


Yep, I know I have been misconstrued and I have also jumped on others when I misunderstood and took offense. For sure there are some jerk comments, but for the most part we really are trying to help with our comments.


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Gun_Dog2002 said:


> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NP8y63Ms4o
> 
> This is how the good old RTF used to be....
> 
> /Paul


You wouldn't catch me putting up w/ that crap. The army needs less help if that is the way they treat people. That fellow is in male menopause. Like I said I loose focus when you start w/ the snarky remarks. There is a way to tell people about what you want to say & there is a way not to. JMHO


----------



## Criquetpas (Sep 14, 2004)

It is the Marine Corp boot training one of the toughest of all the recruit training , in my opinion, don't think it accurately portrays the RTF (LOL). Having said that my old time mentors when learning to train retrievers, were tough no nonsense folks, if you weren't serious don't stick around. Over the years saw a few folks go in their truck or vehicle cry and pout. They didn't last long in the game..


----------



## Willie Alderson (Jan 26, 2011)

Mary Lynn Metras said:


> You wouldn't catch me putting up w/ that crap. The army needs less help if that is the way they treat people. That fellow is in male menopause. Like I said I loose focus when you start w/ the snarky remarks. There is a way to tell people about what you want to say & there is a way not to. JMHO


Do you have any friends/family in the military? For those service men/woman who MADE it, I doubt any one of them would change the way the military treats people in training. It's supposed to be hard. It's a way to weed out the weak, make strong men/women stronger. How can you depend on the person next to you if they cannot hold themselves accountable...in boot camp!! 

And if you "loose" focus with snarky remarks, then you'll probably become loose and lose your mornings breakfast when the going gets tough! 

That last part was meant to be condescending because of the OP. I don't really mean it. :razz:


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Willie Alderson said:


> Do you have any friends/family in the military? For those service men/woman who MADE it, I doubt any one of them would change the way the military treats people in training. It's supposed to be hard. It's a way to weed out the weak, make strong men/women stronger. How can you depend on the person next to you if they cannot hold themselves accountable...in boot camp!!
> 
> And if you "loose" focus with snarky remarks, then you'll probably become loose and lose your mornings breakfast when the going gets tough!
> 
> That last part was meant to be condescending because of the OP. I don't really mean it. :razz:


Then I am weak and don't really care for that kind of treatment. There are better ways to make people work together. Those actions showed me nothing, except his superiority over another & he ranks as an ass***e in my mind. I thought those days were gone. Not my kind of stuff. The other fellow is right I hope RTFers are better than this. JMO


----------



## Bridget Bodine (Mar 4, 2008)

Criquetpas said:


> It is the Marine Corp boot training one of the toughest of all the recruit training , in my opinion, don't think it accurately portrays the RTF (LOL). Having said that my old time mentors when learning to train retrievers, were tough no nonsense folks, if you weren't serious don't stick around. Over the years saw a few folks go in their truck or vehicle cry and pout. They didn't last long in the game..


 I must come from that school... ;-) I can be brutally honest, but it is just that, honesty. Some people would kill for me, because of it and others are afraid of it........
BB


----------



## JusticeDog (Jul 3, 2003)

Bridget Bodine said:


> I must come from that school... ;-) I can be brutally honest, but it is just that, honesty. Some people would kill for me because of it and others are afraid of it........
> BB


 "the truth? You can't handle the truth!". One of my favorite movie lines.


----------



## Bridget Bodine (Mar 4, 2008)

yep Susan !!


----------



## polmaise (Jan 6, 2009)

My problem according to some folk is that I type like I would say it.
Some have a problem with this,others don't. Smart ass folk would say that's not pc. Some who think it is condescending are looking at the words and interpreting their own tone .


----------



## Criquetpas (Sep 14, 2004)

Sgts run the Army or Marine Corps , not officers as many think, don't know much about the Navy, Air Force or Coast Guard, and "please and thank you" are not in the enlisted ranks jargon, except when dealing with civilians. One leads by example and folks follow. Hopefully the retriever game hasn't gone that far LOL. Just a snowy afternoon and entertainment. My training partner wants to train in the plowed parking lots, geez haven't done that for awhile..


----------



## Raymond Little (Aug 2, 2006)

Anyone who brings their "Feelings" into dog training or dog training discussions are certainly in for some rough sledding.


----------



## Scott Adams (Jun 25, 2003)

Raymond Little said:


> Anyone who brings their "Feelings" into dog training or dog training discussions are certainly in for some rough sledding.


Ego is all about feelings, especially inflated ego's. 
Ego is no stranger to dog training.
You do need to be able to take criticism, though, if you hope to improve.


----------



## swliszka (Apr 17, 2011)

The simple but complex problem we face here is that people who come to this thread site have a huge range of backgrounds and dog experiences. Having Hall of Fame mentors (not showing my "pelts" but fact) my point of view is tempered by that reality altho I also publicly and politely disagreed w/them sometimes and went my own way. Most folks today have no real animal experience due to their urban upbringing and perhaps, Animal Planet understandings. In chasing the dogs it is often more of a "human" problem than a "dog" one - IMO.


----------



## Mary Lynn Metras (Jul 6, 2010)

Scott Adams said:


> Ego is all about feelings, especially inflated ego's.
> Ego is no stranger to dog training.
> You do need to be able to take criticism, though, if you hope to improve.


No problem w/ constructive criticism, very helpful. IMO


----------



## brsutton86 (Apr 19, 2013)

I don't mind a little bit of ego personally. If you are good at something, you are good. Be proud that you worked hard to get there. But also remember to keep your ego in tune as to not put others down. Nothing wrong with a little sarcasm either. I read on here alot. I hardly post and dont give advice. On my first dog thats 2 and just now getting ready to start into seasoned. Even the few questions I feel like I can answer, I always know someone will answer it better than me because of my lack of time in the retreiver world. I usually only respond to an opinion based post or on equipment thats not about traning specifics. I find this forum very helpful. The DHC dog forum is always helpful too, but there are 2 posters on there that Im not fond of. If you say the sky is blue, they will say it is pink or dark blue on every single post. It honestly seems like they post just to belittle someone. I like to cut up, but that is much different than joking like we all do in the duck blind with friends. This forum is much more enjoyable and I have learned alot.


----------



## Wade Thurman (Jul 4, 2005)

Daren Galloway said:


> I would venture a guess that most questions that envoke a condescending response are questions that have be asked again and again and again. There is a sticky thread one the threads page called "Forum Searching - How to Optimize your Search for Topics". I have found it very useful. You can search exact word/s or phrases, or "contains" that gets you a pretty good selection of old threads to choose from. Sometimes your search isn't correct, try some different words that may come up in a discussion about your topic. Sometimes you have to read through a few threads to find it.


I completely agree Daren. The Search Engine is a wonderful tool to find multiple answers to questions we all have.


----------



## Wade Thurman (Jul 4, 2005)

KwickLabs said:


> I should probably know better than this, but given the nature of the thread....I find the use of "How many pelts on the wall?" a rather condescending approach.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Spot on Jim. It also shows the arrogance in a person.


----------



## Wade Thurman (Jul 4, 2005)

swampcollielover said:


> What one person reads as 'condescending' someone else may see as a someone being to the point. The problem with all 'written' communications is that you lose much of the primary tools we all need for good quality communications that you get only from face to face discussions. So if you are always feeling that people are talking down to you, consider it probably is your perception, and not necessarily a condescending comment. No doubt some folks are a bit abrupt and even rude at times, I find the 'ignor' function works well to eliminate these folks from my posts and what I read.
> 
> It can be fun and informative, as already said, good to have thick skin, but also to understand the disadvantages to this type of communications and more importantly, keep an open mind.


Good points here Swampy especially your first sentence.


----------

